comeback!

i could hardly believe it has been almost 9 months since my last blog! i should really be more committed to writing my blogs more regularly. mostly i have just been really busy (quite understandable right, when i was juggling between work, yoga, pregnancy and then birth, baby and more baby time) and maybe the other part was mainly because i could never sign in to my blogger account without much difficulty. don't ask me why....i just can't seem to keep track of my password and for some reason, i am signed in to yahoo account here instead of a gmail account. again, don't ask me why.
so on to more important things...whew! where do i even begin? i guess that's what happens when you don't blog for 9 months! you either forget what you're supposed to write about...or there are simply just too many events that you cannot pick one anymore!
so let me start by saying that i now have a lovely and adorable little baby girl who is now about to turn 5 months in the next couple of weeks. her name is dharma ava dulay bernales. born may 25, 2010. 2.4 kg (very small!) and she is amazing! we absolutely adore her! there are so many things to write about her that i'll need to have another blog for it! (don't worry, it will definitely come sooner than her first year birthday!).
that's really the biggest thing now.
consider this my comeback blog. more to come!

m.i.a.

So I have been missing in action from my blog for about 4 months now. Wow, it has been that long!  The silence from my blog though does not mean that I have lost interest in my yoga training. On the contrary, I have been the process of rediscovering it...  since learning that my husband and I are expecting our first baby, my yoga practice has taken out a whole new level.  I mean, being pregnant is bigger than both of us...  than anything else for that matter!

and so for the past 5 1/2 months, I have been rediscovering yoga as a pregnant yogini :).   

For the past few months, I have gone deeper into my practice in a whole new different light.  I have rediscovered my relationship with my body and have gained a greater sense of awareness for my own body as well as the life growing inside me.  I have rediscovered my own strength and have found a renewed respect for my own weaknesses.  I have a greater sense of purpose and a clear intention during each yoga practice.  I have developed the ability to draw a heightened level of focus and meditation from within.

So while I do miss a lot of things about yoga that I used to be able to do before I got pregnant, being pregnant is allowing me to experience yoga in a whole new way.  And for that I am thankful, and for that I am blessed.

Andrei Ram-On Dharma Yoga Immersion

Where do I OR more importantly, how do I even begin to describe and experience that is nothing short of profound?
I could begin by sharing all the asanas that we did…or the different principles that Andrei shared with us to help make our asanas stronger…and yet, I am not compelled to do that.
What I am moved to write about though is how it is simply amazing it is to meet a person who has so much light in his heart – it literally flows out of him, through the people who encounter him and channels out to the rest of the world.
And how it is in moments like this, when you meet someone with such a true heart, when you really start to become hopeful for the rest of the world. It brings you back to the basic truth that, at the core of our beings as humans…we are all essentially good. We might have forgotten somehow…but it is there…that tiny light that can explode into a supernova of greatness.
And it is this ultimate self-realization which Andrei has shared with us. It is this self-realization which is the ultimate goal of yoga - the Universal Self that is unbounded by ego, by intellect, by the body and by the constructs of the world. He reminded all of us how asanas are really just specks in the greater scheme of “yoga”. That, yes, as I have shared before – yoga is what happens out there. Not on the mat, not in the studio.
It is a way of life.
While I have come out of the workshop, stronger and more confident about inversions and arm balances, this workshop has left my truly inspired. When you are in a place with such wonderful people, who share the same passion, who have so much positive energy – you find that you are transformed. And you feel an energy, a vibe, a light that shines from the heart…it may be as little as a speck…but it is a there…and it spreads… and soon it is like wildfire.
And as I sat during Kirtan, along with my yogi and yogini friends, clapping and singing along, celebrating the goodness of the universe and all living things, and listening to Andrei say his thank you’s, I could not help but look around and notice that people also had tears in their eyes. I guess when the heart knows it has encountered something significant, you are left in awe and your body just naturally wells up with it.
And I knew…right there and then…that we all understood.

ONLY AS STRONG AS MY CORE

Despite the fact that I have been doing yoga for quite some time now, I have only been to yoga core ONCE. For the most part, it’s really only because this class was not offered in my previous studio in Bangkok. And for the lesser part? Well….not sure exactly…it just didn’t catch my fancy somehow.
And yet, as I move through more challenging asanas and inversions and balances, I find myself taking a step back…breathing in and out…and thinking: “This will not work. I need to work on my core.”
And so it is. Without proper core strengthening and really bringing awareness to your core, you will find yourself…wobbling though a lot of the more advanced poses…or getting by but advancing quite slow…or passing through one pose after another and becoming stuck somewhere, somehow.
And so, as I found myself doing the “100s” pose during Shaun’s class yesterday…and feeling the all too familiar burning sensation in my core muscles…I kept on thinking how much stronger I have become and will still be as I continue to build and work on my core.
And it is perhaps not a coincidence when they say that “you are only as strong as your core”. To a certain extent, it is physical and yet greatly metaphysical as well. At the end of the day, it all boils down to the core – to the “core of our being”. That is what defines us… that is where we draw our strength, where we find balance. Without going back to it – we will always be struggling, wobbling, moving and yet never really changing.

ONE MORE TIME IN UPSIDE DOWN

I hate inversions.

Ok, so I have established that in my earlier blog.

But really, I cannot help it.

Everytime I start doing inversions, my head starts to get all fuzzy, my heart skips a beat, my hands start to get clammy and a nagging voice in my heads starts shrieking in panic: “I don’t want to fall!”

So, yes…inversions are not exactly my particular area of strength in my yoga practice. 

Flexibility – yes.  And yeah, arm balances I can still manage to pull off on my good days.  But inversions?!?

And so, it was quite ironic as I found myself in Arun’s Upside Down class last Friday – a class that, as the name implies, basically focuses on just that – INVERSIONS.  And as I entered the studio, I couldn’t help but as myself…

“What the hell am I doing here?” 

But I knew the answer anyway to my own rhetorical question.  I was there because just like everything else, there are some things which just take a bit more practice and effort from our end.  And this was clearly one of those for me. 

And so there I was… feeling awkward and all... right in front of the room. 

And I almost backed out (I had a sudden urge to just bolt right out of the room!)…but I stayed…yes, through the entire 1.5hour class!  And yes, I stayed on (on my head, to be more precise) throughout the 10minute headstands.  And yes, I stayed, through the handstands and the variations.

Hey, I could not do the other poses, nor could I completely tear myself away from the wall, but I was there and I tried.  Maybe that’s enough for now…

And as I ended the class and told Arun how much I really don’t like inversions (I figured my yoga teacher might not like my using the word “hate” to describe inversions :p), he left me with one simple word – practice.  And that’s really all there is to it. 

And somehow, it made sense.  “Practice- all is coming” – as Sri Pattahbi Jois so aptly put it.

And so I will find myself attending more of these inversion classes when time permits.  And while I do not exactly look forward to them, I no longer fear them.  I think that’s a pretty damn good start.

And by the way, I have started doing headstands in my sleep.

And somehow, dreaming has made it easier in the waking.

 

the way of the yogi - part 1 out of i have yet to figure out

A lot of people have asked me what the difference is between yoga and other types of exercise – pilates, for example.  Or stretching for that matter.

So here it is – the big answer (and it’s not really a big secret)

YOGA IS A WAY OF LIFE.

It is not profound as you might think it is.  It is actually quite simple and very practical.  Allow me to explain.

Yoga does not end when you step out of your mat.  Yoga is what happens on and off the mat  On the mat is where you focus and build your practice – but the basic principles of yoga apply in everyday life.  Think of it in the same way that it is in church where you meditate, but it does not mean that you stop worshipping outside of the church , does it?

So, yoga is a lot like that.  Practical applications that you take to your daily life.

Yoga has a lot of principles and different yoga practices might have different expressions of these principles.  The Universal Principles of Alignment are principles taught by Ashtanga Practioners and governs the movement and the correct way of doing asanas.  The concept of “kula” or community is also something that is founded on the Ashtanga teachings. Vinyasa yoga, on the other hand, talks about “flowing” into the poses and aligning breath to movement.  For each inhale and exhale, a corresponding asana.  There is also Hatha yoga which is slower and focuses on the core in each pose. 

As you can imagine, I can go on and on.  But before I do (and overwhelm you with a barrage of information), I have a few yoga principles of my own which I have picked up from the different yoga “schools” of thought.  It is a consolidation of principles I have read, I have picked up from my teachers, I have heard or I have experienced.  So here is the official list of The Principles of the Yogini Monx:

1.  Focus on your breath

Perhaps the simplest and yet the most important principle of yoga which is often forgotten and neglected.

When I first started yoga, I remember my teacher reminding everyone in class to breathe.  And I remember thinking: “Oh, that’s basic.  I mean, how can someone forget to breathe?” .  Well, surprise, surprise.  We do actually. 

Haven’t you ever noticed that everytime we are in  a difficult or stressful situation, we hold our breathe?  Or we hold our breathe in anticipation or in concentration?  And that is what happens in yoga.  When you are new to the practice, you are unfamiliar with the poses, and it is a stress to your body and to your psyche – so unconsciously, you hold your breath.  And you end up dizzy during practice. 

Breathe.  In an unhurried way.  Savor each breathe.  Through the nose, deep into your chest, into your lungs and into your muscles.  That is the proper way to breathe.  Like you are sipping and savoring a really good and expensive glass of wine.  You don’t need to gulp in air or pant heavily.  There is no need to be greedy.  Breathe.  And it will do wonders.

And so it is the same in daily life.  Stress is always there.  As much as we are spiritual beings, we are faced with the challenge of being human.  And we get irritated, we get flustered when things don’t go our way…or we get excited, we get impatient – and in these situations, we forget to breath.

Anger management books would often advise people to count to 5 or 10 slowly if they get pissed before they actually do something or before they even speak.  Ever wonder why?  Breathing increases oxygen to your brain and to your body – increasing clarity and focus.  Allowing you to assess the situation better and hence making you more capable of dealing with it.  Suddenly, everything becomes clear and you are able to focus on what needs to be done.  You are able to focus on your balance, on a pose, on your hunamanasana – and you melt into the pose – you melt into the moment.  And you experience bliss.

2.  Surrender

I read this book a few months back about the 7 Spiritual Laws of Yoga written by Deepak Chopra and David Simon, one of the laws on that book was all about the Law of Least Effort.  This law basically says that “my actions achieve maximum benefit with minimum effort.”  Now what does this really mean?  Does it mean that we should all just have a laissez-faire attitude to everything?  Does this mean that we should not exert efforts into your practice? 

Not really.

What is law actually means (or at least what it means to me), is that we should practice acceptance:  acceptance in what our bodies can and cannot do that day during practice, acceptance of what we are really good at, acceptance of what we still need to work on, acceptance of challenge and acceptance of life. 

Sometimes life is playful , or what we call “lila”, which means a creative play of the divine.  Not everything is in our control.  So we surrender.  We surrender to the beauty of how our bodies our different each time we practice.  We surrender to the surprises that each practice gives us.  We surrender to the wonder of the world we live in.  We surrender to the glorious day we wake up to each morning.    Someone once said (cannot remember who) that yoga is all about mindful surrender.  I like that.

We accept, we surrender and we recognize our defenseless. 

3.  Be fully present

We live in a busy, hectic and stressful world where multi-tasking is expected and is the norm rather than the exception.  There is simply too many things that needs to get done, on top of the things that we want to do – and so we end up cramming everything together.  We try to squeeze in a lot of things in a short amount of time with the thinking that this will help us get the most out of life.

That might make sense from a purely logical point of view.  After all, if you manage to do three things at once, then you have more time to do other things at once, right?  Well, depends on how you look at it.

Whenever we go to our yoga practice, we are asked to leave everything else behind. To empty our thoughts.  We meditate and “empty the cup”.  And there is a perfectly good reason for that.  That time spent practicing yoga is time allotted for that.  Nothing else.  By allowing that time purely for yourself, for your well-being, you end up going out of that practice a more grounded and energized being – ready to take on the world.

Consider the opposite:  You go to yoga, while in meditation you start thinking about what your schedule is after this class, in between asanas you start thinking about that report that you still need to write out, during an asana you begin constructing that report in your head and during savasana you plan what you want to do this weekend.  And so you leave your practice thinking about what exactly was taught during yoga today.

You have cheated yourself and have deprived yourself from another wonderful and unique yoga experience.

We often go on autopilot with a lot of things.  Especially if you have being going to a yoga class quite often.  Especially with yoga practices with a set sequence like bikram or ashtanga.  Especially if there is a lot of work that needs to get done. 

And yet, the truth of the matter is this:  be present.  Wherever you are, whatever you are doing ….you are meant to be there to do just that.  We are not superhuman.  Let us stop kidding ourselves.  We choose to be present, to do something over other things.  And that is the fact. I am writing this blog with the full knowledge that I have chosen writing over let’s say, going out for a drink.  That is the fact.  Imagine how silly it would be for me to be out for drinks on a Saturday night in a club, with a laptop, trying to write down a blog with the blare of music and my friends chatting and dancing in the background.  It simply does not make sense, right?  And yet, we do that often.  In our heads, in our minds. 

Be present.  The Sanskrit word, “Santosha”, literally means “the fragrance of the present.”  And it is fitting that it also a word that is used to mean “contentment”.

Wherever you are and whatever you are doing.  You have made that choice and you might as well get the most out of it.

 

So, there it is.

My first 3 principles. 

The next few ones I will share in another blog lest I run out of things to write about! (eek!)

But I will be sharing some more.

These are in now way thoughts that you need to adhere to as you go about your own yoga practice.  But these are my own guiding principles as I carry on the path of being a yogini in training.

 

 

yoga spirituality

It’s a Sunday…and I am writing about a topic that might be a “touchy” subject for some… or something that others could not really fully understand.

I have heard some people say that they don’t want to go into yoga because of the whole spirituality and meditation aspects of it – that it might put their faith in jeopardy.  And I have friends who have asked and commented on how yoga spirituality conflicts with my Catholic faith – a seeming contradiction with all the Shiva and Ganesh chants (just to name a few).  The answer is quite simple, really -- IT DOESN’T.

Now, don’t get me wrong.  I am a firm believer that the road to god and the path of spirituality can have different routes and take different forms.  Faith and spirituality, whichever school of thought it might belong to, all help us become better persons – religion being just part of it. 

As I have grown into my practice, I find that the contradiction between being a Catholic and being a yogini SIMPLY DOES NOT EXIST.  In fact, through the years, what I have realized is that yoga spirituality has helped my religion and faith blossom into something that can be readily applied and seen in my daily life.  It has opened my heart for far greater things – the joy and the rapture of living…of seeing things in a more positive light…of embracing each day with joyous anticipation… of honoring stillness and peace and quite…of welcoming experiences…of respecting and honoring each person…and hoping and wishing for good things to come to others. 

Yoga spirituality has complemented by faith and has fueled the fire inside of me.

It is quite simple really…faith is FAITH.  And we hold on to it regardless…

And so…while I honor the divine, the light, the guru that lies in each of us…so shall I continue to honor the Light, the Divine, the Jesus that I believe in…